Three is a magic number, bet on lucky number seven, and beware of unlucky thirteen. Twenty-three is now the new number to keep an eye out for.

Conspiracy theorists unite in the theatres showing this weekend’s new thriller, The Number 23, a film about how obsession and paranoia can take over a man’s life and the lives of his loved ones. The man in question is Walter Sparrow (Jim Carrey). Walter works for Animal Control, which makes him a glorified dogcatcher. When someone has a lingering canine around their restaurant or a snake in their sewage system (hey, it could happen), they call Animal Control, which in turn radios Walter. He goes home everyday to a beautiful wife, a teenage son, and an average life that anyone can be proud of. This all changes when he’s kept late at work on is birthday (February 3rd or 2/3…it’s a theme) making him tardy to pick his wife Agatha up from work. His wife grows bored with waiting and wanders into a bookstore after a bright red book catches her eye. This book, titled The Number 23, proves to be a great birthday present for Walter for he has an easy and immediate relation to the main character, maybe a little more than he wanted. His new way to burn time eventually consumes his every waking moment, creating an obsession with both the similarities of his life and Fingerling’s (the book’s main character) and the number 23 itself.I pretty much knew before I walked into the theatre that I wasn’t about to see Jim Carrey’s defining role in his career. He was amazing in the Truman Show and iconic in Man On The Moon, but I felt a thriller was a bit of a stretch. As Walter, he does well at playing what I’d imagine to be himself. As Fingerling (its no secret, so no spoiler alert), his performance feels forced and awkward at times. I go as far as saying it was cheesy. I also knew this wasn’t going to be Virginia Madsen’s stellar follow-up to her comeback performance in Sideways. She was good as Walter’s wife Agatha and great as Fabrizia, Fingerling’s love-interest in Walter’s book, but she is obscenely overshadowed by her sheer hotness a black wig and ultimately overshadowed by the ridiculousness the number 23.

I, much like the rest of the country, was just fascinated with the importance with the number 23. The movie trailers show some examples of the magic behind the number (230 people died on TWA Flight 800), but the actual movie is where it gets stupid. There are some thinkers like the fact that each parent contributes 23 chromosomes to their children and there’s 23 letters in the Latin alphabet. Then there are some real reaches like the relevance to the color pink to 23 and the use of the number 32 as a mystical reversal of 23. Sure, showing that 23 can be found everywhere in Walter’s life is intriguing and all, but the lengths they go through in this film to make them relevant was laughable…literally. Half of the theatre laughed at the shameless reaches they resorted to making 23 much more creepy, and that’s where they lost me.

Even though I disliked the movie, I did find some use out of it. I created a drinking game from it, which if it catches, could spark some DVD sales. Here are the rules:

1. The first person to point out an unreferenced 23 found in the scenery (there’s a lot) makes everyone else take a shot.
2. Whenever Jim Carrey’s character Walter makes a ridiculous connection to the number 23 (ex. At 2:15 on a clock, the hands are pointing at 2 and 3), everyone chugs a beer.
3. Whenever Jim Carrey tries to interject some humor into his role, everyone chugs a beer.
4. Every time a bulldog stares into the camera, everyone chugs a beer.
5. Every time one Jim Carrey’s characters have sex, everyone pounds a full beer.
6. And finally, whoever figures out the predictable ending first makes everyone else pounds a full beer.

Drink responsibly.