You never think of Grandma’s Cookies as the type of thing that could hurt you.  And why would you?  Nothing represents hearth and home quite like Grandma and a fresh batch of cookies.

At least until Grandma’s Cookies, a short film that managed to take third at the New York Monster Mania Killer Short Sudden Death Competition, decided to take a run at subverting that grand old trope.

In this, grandma’s been working hard in the kitchen to produce a new cookie recipe in time for the grand bake-off competition…but what she comes up with?  Now that’s a scary prospect.

All I can say is, if this took third, I’d hate to see the half-assed piece of dreck that took fourth.  This short is godawful, nothing but.

Leave aside the OBVIOUS problems with the plot, like how exactly she manages to get ground meat to LOOK like a cookie instead of a patty of ground meat, and how no one notices that she’s basically serving up sausage patties instead of cookies, there’s still plenty wrong with this one.  There’s some horrible crossdressing going on, the dialogue is lousy and poorly delivered (I tell you, when someone says “Leave us. We’re already dead.” in the same tone of voice that you would use to recite a shopping list, you KNOW there’s a problem) and the effects are the lowest-budget sort of joke.

The Screenhead Ten Scale, in response, gives Grandma’s Cookies a gag-me-with-an-eggbeater one out of ten for failing on virtually every front.