Are you sitting down?  You’re going to want to be sitting down for this.  You may well want to be DRUNK for this too because what I’m going to tell you is quite possibly too horrifying to contemplate sober.

So just a couple weeks ago, the tenth anniversary of the original Blair Witch Project came and went with little in the way of fanfare.  I’d all but forgotten, myself, and so did most of the media with the exception of Entertainment Weekly that did a “where are they now?” on the original principles.  Turns out most of them either got out of Hollywood entirely or found themselves doing bit parts for indie movies and horror flicks, with the possible exception of Josh Leonard, who got LEAD ROLES in indie movies and horror flicks.

But the two original filmmakers, Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez, who probably still remember the sweet taste of a hundred million at the box office alongside of merch like no tomorrow (there were three Blair Witch computer games.  I actually bought the first at a then-Babbage’s discount bin for a measly five bucks but never got the chance to try it out), aren’t satisfied with their current lives of insignificance and obscurity and are making a bid for the big screen once more.

Quoth Myrick and Sanchez:

“Ideally, each Blair Witch film would be a completely different kind of movie.We’ve thought about doing a film that takes place in the late 1700s and looks like a [Stanley] Kubrick movie with gritty looking people and lighting. But now, we’re thinking about going back and and seeing what happened directly after the first film finished. I think it will have some kind of video element in it, but it won’t be a first person hand-held movie.”

There are literally dozens of ways to mock them for this idiocy, but somehow, I find myself unable to bring myself to do it.  I just can’t mock this horrible vision, because they so clearly believe in it.

Good luck, fellas…good luck getting anyone but direct to video interested, and even then, probably having a tough time pulling that off.