Sarcasm is dripping off that title like drool from a fanboy’s mouth when you start talking about the next Guillermo Del Toro movie.

But it’s no less true for the scathing sarcasm–Michael Bay really IS planning yet another remake for his Platinum Dunes studio, and this time, he’s going after…The Tenant.

Yeah, I know, I’m kind of freaked out too.  Frankly, I hadn’t even HEARD of this relic of a bygone era, and had to investigate it.  Amazon didn’t even have it, and only the IMDB could save me here.

It was an old Roman Polanski film, for crying out loud.  It involved a man taking an apartment in which a man had committed suicide, and was apparently the inspiration for David Croenenburg, which proves that it’s going to be about three hundred pounds of weird in a half-pound sack.  Roman Polanski by himself is a catastrophic study in screwed-up but when you consider that this helped MAKE CROENENBURG, well, then there’s nothing to do but just lock up the acid and keep your sponsor on speed dial because your world is about to get horrendously messed up.

So the thought of Michael Bay trying to remake this steaming pile of lunacy just puzzles me.  I actually admit I’m looking forward to it.  What will a complete lack of talent do to a movie that’s such an incredible mindbomb that it made Croenenburg?

I’m so freaked out it’s not even funny.