When I first read about the idea that there would be a Marmaduke movie I wasn’t sure what the proper reaction to such news was.  I had a sneaking suspicion it involved projectile vomiting and lots of giggling along with vague allusions to the monsters in my closet that were finally coming to get me.

And then I took some deep breaths and drank about a quart of whiskey and woke up three hours later feeling just fine–fine, I tell you!–and ready to talk MARMADUKE.

It has a voice cast, and it’s a doozy: Amanda Seyfried as Mazie, Jeremy Piven as Bosco, Ron Perlman as Chupadogra, Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Guiseppe, Stacy Ferguson (as in Fergie, the singer from Black Eyed Peas) as Jezebel, Steve Coogan as Raisin, George Lopez as Carlos and Damon Wayans Jr. as Thunder.

And now I want to vomit and giggle again.

One, who let Fergie voice act?  Two, George Lopez, seriously?  Can you do anything that isn’t just a caricature of your own heritage?  No, guess not….and I don’t know who or what a “chupadogra” is, but…actually, Ron Perlman probably IS a good choice for it.

Anyway, all I know is that this massive failure in waiting will hit theaters June of 2010–a SUMMER MOVIE??  This one IS going to tank–and we should all get our popcorn now for the inevitable screaming of the executives who just realized they lost like thirty million dollars making this drivel.