I do, however, have to couch my remarks and use the word probably, as the word is going around that the third Twilight installment, Eclipse, might just manage to net itself an R-rating.

In fact, apparently, it might just make this rating due to a MASSIVE influx in violence.  Actor, unlikely heartthrob and poster boy for famine Robert Pattinson says this:

“There’s so many more main parts, and having these huge battle sequences, I’ve never done anything like it in any of the other movies.”

To which I reply, of course not, you TOOL.  The other movies  have all been about mushy chit chat and things that make tweenage girls swoon.  If you actually tore a throat or two out, even I might have been more charitable.

But let’s be honest here, folks–for crying out loud, this movie is pretty much targeted to the 12-17  age group.  The chances of Eclipse cutting off about ninety-odd percent of its fan base is CATASTROPHICALLY low.  So low as to almost not mention.

Unless, of course, you’re us.  Then it’s about certain…that we’ll mention it.