Okay, short film makers, listen up, because a critic’s going to fill you in on how spectacularly easy it is to get a bad review for your zombie short.  All you have to do is just a few simple things, as exemplified by the short Something In The Air:

1. Film at night.  Yes, I know, night is spooky and makes everything else look spooky, but unless you’ve got the hardware to do it right all you end up with is an inky black blot over most of your film that’s impossible to distinguish from video failure.

2. “Pay homage” with music. Yes, I know, you’re allegedly a zombie flick and thus it’s “cool” to take music directly from Dawn AND Day of the Dead, but somehow I think the Goblins would be pretty torqued to find out their music crapped out to be the soundtrack to your poorly-made sludge.

3. Don’t bother to explain anything. Because, as we all know, it’s so much cooler to make the audience guess what’s going on.

That’s basically what’s wrong with this movie–as best I can figure, the plot involves a zombie virus that’s gone airborne but only like around one guy. It’s hard to tell what’s going on here because half the movie is nearly solid black and the other half is blaring the Goblins at epic volumes.

The Screenhead Ten Scale has already figured out from my venomous rage what to hand Something In The Air and gives it a one out of ten for having many more problems than any movie should rightfully have.