Things Patrick Stewart Won’t Be In, With Some Support By His Publicists:

1. The adaptation of Fury Road

2. Star Trek themed porn (okay, so I’m just guessing on that one)

3. X-Men: First Class

…wait, what?

No, it’s true–apparently Patrick Stewart will NOT be back to play Professor X in the upcoming X-Men prequel, X-Men: First Class.

And dammit anyway, that makes some SENSE.

In all honesty, Patrick Stewart is a total genius.  The guy brings class and skill to EVERY ROLE HE HANDLES.  Even the cheesy throwaway crap for Family Guy, he managed to do with a certain panache.  But one thing even the legendary Patrick Stewart cannot do is play a man half his age.

It’s just not possible.  Say what you will about ageism and discrimination and all that bushwah but it’s just plain old not possible for any kind of makeup work to make you look half your age.  If it were possible, believe me, more people would be doing it.  And X-Men: First Class would necessarily call for a much younger Professor X, so even Stewart believes that he just plain old won’t be needed for this outing.

Make no mistake, this is a crying shame, but it’s a rational shame.