The folks out at Anchor Bay sent over a copy of The Killing Machine, featuring none other than The Expendables’ own Dolph Lundgren, a major action figure of the eighties who’s gone on to continue doing action movies, and action movies that look a lot like those he was doing back in the eighties at that. But he’s expanded his role a bit to also include the director’s chair with The Killing Machine.

The Killing Machine follows Edward Genn, a successful investment broker who used to be a KGB operative named Yevgeni. Edward–formerly Yevgeni–has an ex-wife, a mistress, a daughter, and a side job none of them knows about: assassin for the Russian Mafia. After his newest success at his side job, the two lives he tried so hard to keep separate suddenly collide. Now, with his family at stake, Edward’s got to take on one last job that just might be the death of him.

Clearly, Lundgren took the first bit of advice most any new writer gets–to do what you know. Because The Killing Machine is a lot like any of a hundred other eighties action films, right down to the Evil Soviets. I can’t remember the last time I saw so many cliches back-t0-back like this: loud music, big explosions, lots of gunplay, dialogue that sounds like Lundgren wrote it himself (he didn’t, actually, that honor–if you can call it that–belongs wholly to someone else) and of course, random sex at seemingly the most out of place moments possible. In fact, there’s not much to suggest that this is wasn’t actually made by, say Cannon Films back in the eighties and just re-released on video today.

However, if you’re fond of action movies, especially action movies from way back in the depths of the 1980s, then you’re going to do pretty well here. Like I said, it’s almost indistinguishable from a movie that had already been made back in the eighties and simply brought back to life today. So if you loved action movies back in the eighties–or just love finding that kind of movie today–then you’ll do just fine here.

The Screenhead Ten Scale hands this retro-flavored action romp a highly subjective seven out of ten. As an example of eighties-style action fare, it’s actually top-notch. Objectively, it’s too cliche-ridden to be much of anything great, but if you like this kind of thing, then be sure to get your hands on a copy of The Killing Machine, because it’s just what you’re after.