Animated sequels…ah, these are their own little animal, and the crew out at Anchor Bay sent over a copy of Hoodwinked Too: Hood Vs. Evil for us to cover, and this one will be entirely in a league of its own. Whether or not you’ll want to stick around for this one, though, you’ll find largely dependent on your tolerance for sequels and all that encompasses.

Following the events of the first Hoodwinked, which was less a children’s movie so much as it was Rashomon in fairy tale garb, Hoodwinked Too: Hood Vs. Evil takes us back to rejoin our cast of four heroes–Red, her Granny Abigail Puckett, the Big Bad Wolf, and for some reason, a squirrel with a serious caffeine dependency by the all too reasonable name of Twitchy–as they’ve signed on with the HEA, or Happily Ever After, agency, an outfit devoted to ensuring happy endings for various fairy tale characters. The team has seen better days, with Red off in special training and the rest of the team notably undermanned…and underpowered. But when Granny gets kidnapped by the witch holding Hansel and Gretel hostage, Red’s going to have to rejoin the team and try to make up for the lost Granny.

There are some significant differences between the first and the second. While I find it spectacularly gauche that they’d kick off the movie with a rundown of the cast, it’s not hard to see the appeal in something like this. Sure, it’s not as understated as the first film (frankly, putting Rashomon in fairy tale is the kind of unique thing that you don’t see just any day), but it’s still got a pleasant sort of style to it. While the first Hoodwinked was an impressive multi-pronged mystery sort of affair, its sequel instead decides to go the animated action movie route. And of course, they’ll throw a few good laughs in for a little extra value.

Much like many other cases, the sequel will be bigger, louder, and more predictable than the original.  This is kind of a shame in a way, because they’ve thrown off the unique quality of the matter in favor of more explosions and action movie fodder. It’s fun, sure, don’t get me wrong there, but it seems like having the ability to do a sequel came at the cost of large swathes of their original unique quality and sheer, well, originality.

The Screenhead Ten Scale, meanwhile, gives Hoodwinked Too: Hood Vs. Evil a six out of ten. It’s very much a sequel, and has lost a lot of its original charm in the process, but has still managed to hang on to sufficient fun to make it at least a worthwhile rental if nothing else.

A bit of entertainment trivia for you to kick off today, folks–you know what a “clip show” is? That’s where they take bits and pieces of a long-running sitcom or other show and cobble them together, with a little bit of new footage to bridge the gaps, into a new episode. That’s kind of what Battle Los Angeles actually is, except in this case, it’s a clip movie.

Battle Los Angeles puts us right into a hellacious firefight that’s raging all over the world. Aliens have landed, and they’re definitely not the “to serve man” crowd. As countries and cities all over the world find themselves getting their hats handed to them by the alien horde, one platoon of marines, in the midst of a mission, finds itself in the unique position of being able to save the world by the most improbable of maneuvers.

Sometimes I get to thinking that summer movie season–with its big, loud, brainless action movies and the like–starts a little sooner every year, and I think they’ve pushed the season clear back to early March if Battle Los Angeles is any indication. And like I said, you’ve seen substantial portions of this movie before, from the grizzled old staff sergeant who gruffly proclaims that he’ll get his men out alive, to the green first lieutenant willing to take one for the team, to the even greener private who’s sufficiently green that he’s–and yes, this is mentioned in the film–a full-on virgin who joined up at seventeen. There are bits of Heartbreak Ridge, Black Hawk Down, a whole lot of Independence Day (right down to the burning wreckage-littered airfield and the vaguely similar alien ship designs!) and I’m sure if you watch this thing, you’ll likely spot bits of your favorite old war movie in here.

The script has so many holes in the plot it looks like it was shot through with the Bushmaster chain gun that they mention but never actually fire in the film (at least not that I saw, and frankly, I was looking forward to seeing that puppy go!), the explanation for the alien invasion is weak at best, and the whole thing feels rushed and poorly put together.

But still, for the action diehard out there, there will be more than enough gunplay and plenty of explosions and a few good tense moments. It’s nothing particularly original, but sometimes, you’re not looking for original, you’re looking for a new twist on an old favorite and if that’s what you want you’ll get it right here, and then some.

The Screenhead Ten Scale gives Battle Los Angeles a six out of ten, because it does just what it sets out to do, even if that particular goal isn’t anything particularly ambitious.

The folks out at Anchor Bay sent over a copy of The Killing Machine, featuring none other than The Expendables’ own Dolph Lundgren, a major action figure of the eighties who’s gone on to continue doing action movies, and action movies that look a lot like those he was doing back in the eighties at that. But he’s expanded his role a bit to also include the director’s chair with The Killing Machine.

The Killing Machine follows Edward Genn, a successful investment broker who used to be a KGB operative named Yevgeni. Edward–formerly Yevgeni–has an ex-wife, a mistress, a daughter, and a side job none of them knows about: assassin for the Russian Mafia. After his newest success at his side job, the two lives he tried so hard to keep separate suddenly collide. Now, with his family at stake, Edward’s got to take on one last job that just might be the death of him.

Clearly, Lundgren took the first bit of advice most any new writer gets–to do what you know. Because The Killing Machine is a lot like any of a hundred other eighties action films, right down to the Evil Soviets. I can’t remember the last time I saw so many cliches back-t0-back like this: loud music, big explosions, lots of gunplay, dialogue that sounds like Lundgren wrote it himself (he didn’t, actually, that honor–if you can call it that–belongs wholly to someone else) and of course, random sex at seemingly the most out of place moments possible. In fact, there’s not much to suggest that this is wasn’t actually made by, say Cannon Films back in the eighties and just re-released on video today.

However, if you’re fond of action movies, especially action movies from way back in the depths of the 1980s, then you’re going to do pretty well here. Like I said, it’s almost indistinguishable from a movie that had already been made back in the eighties and simply brought back to life today. So if you loved action movies back in the eighties–or just love finding that kind of movie today–then you’ll do just fine here.

The Screenhead Ten Scale hands this retro-flavored action romp a highly subjective seven out of ten. As an example of eighties-style action fare, it’s actually top-notch. Objectively, it’s too cliche-ridden to be much of anything great, but if you like this kind of thing, then be sure to get your hands on a copy of The Killing Machine, because it’s just what you’re after.

Ahead of the October 15th release of Red, featuring the thoroughly awesome sight of Helen Mirren running a belt-fed machine gun (about the only thing I want to see more is Barney with a chainsaw), another new clip has emerged, and of course, we’ve got that sweet Red goodness for you right here.

Red is based on the graphic novel series of the same name, written by magnificent comic author Warren Ellis, who wrote my own all-time favorite comic Transmetropolitan.

But it’s true–when you follow a guy who lives in a swamp into his underground bunker which you access by way of a hollowed-out car trunk, it really can only be described as nuts. And that’s the kind of action we’ll get plenty of when Red hits theaters in just two weeks. Until then, of course, enjoy the clip we’ve got for you below. The previous description applies, and what’s driving such circumstances? Why, nothing but a whole lot of LSD.

Sometimes I look at Hollywood with a mixture of amusement and disgust.  Because, you see, sitting on my computer hard drive is a little script called “Stuff Go Boom”.  It’s essentially ninety minutes of attractive young women setting off large-scale explosions for little or no reason at all. No plot. No story. No Aesop-esque lessons. No redeeming social value whatsoever. Just ninety minutes of explosions.

And every time a movie like The Expendables shows up, I get a little closer to believing that, someday, someone will buy Stuff Go Boom, and I will never stop laughing.

The Expendables, meanwhile, brings together a whole slew of action stars to do a movie that looks like it should have been made back in the eighties, but somehow was forgotten about until this very day. A group of mercenaries, who are really more like a family in that back-slapping testosterone-rich way that guys who hang out with big guns and bigger knives for a living usually end up being, get an assignment with a big payday attached.  They’re to go to a tiny little military dictatorship, kill said military dictator, and come home. And of course, it’s nowhere NEAR as easy as it sounds.

Most of the movie, surprisingly, will veer between explosions and various stretches of what could charitably be called character development if you squint real hard and look sort of to the left of it, almost like looking for pictures in the clouds.

They spent a lot of time hawking this movie as “the manliest movie ever”, and frankly, I’m hard pressed to find a better example.  There’s plenty of explosions and gunplay here–Terry Crews is loads of fun (you’ll remember him from the Old Spice commercials shrieking about his abdominals) as a shotgun-crazed mercenary who’s named his shells.  Bodies go flying, get cut in half, and get stacked like cordwood in a truly epic fashion.

Scott Pilgrim can call himself an epic of epic epicness until his emo boi lips fall off, but he wouldn’t last three minutes in this movie before someone used his twig-like body to swab their gun barrel.

The Expendables is like watching a two hour Powerthirst commercial.  Even I started looking at all these explosions and gunfire and started thinking, man, this is just getting ridiculous. It’s almost like a parody of itself, and it even features a couple nifty twists, especially at the end.  Protip: consider the knife.

But considering that most anyone who goes to this is either going for explosions or to humor someone who wants to see explosions, then the lack of anything serious in plot will not be a huge loss.

The Screenhead Ten Scale, thusly, hands over a seven out of ten to a movie that knew what it was doing when it went in, and thus does a pretty decent job.  It’s not pretending to be anything serious, so just enjoy it for its sheer lack of serious.  At least until Stuff Go Boom finally gets made.

So there were a whole lot of folks out there who thought that a fourth Rambo would be precious little more than a gigantic ego trip for its director / lead actor Sylvester Stallone, and ahead of the release of The Expendables, the folks out at Lions Gate went positively Rambo-crazy. Thus, they sent me a copy of the newest Rambo installment to review, and I’m actually pretty pleased with how it turned out.

John Rambo’s been out in the general vicinity of Vietnam for the last good long while now, and as such, he’s been doing odd jobs to get by.  But it’s his boating operation that most interests a group of missionaries off to do God’s work in Burma, which from the look of the movie is pretty much a gigantic rolling war zone.  And when the missionaries get captured by Burmese troops, the church that sent them hires a group of  mercenaries to go forth and get them.  This allows Rambo to get back in the thick of things, and results in loads and loads and loads of gun battles and explosions in the grandest Rambo tradition.

The really good part about this, unlike past Rambo installments, Sylvester Stallone is not called upon to try and run the whole movie himself.  Of course he’s the lead, and the hero, but he will not have a monopoly of screen time.  He’ll be sharing it out nicely with a whole bunch of other actors who all do at least a passably good job of keeping up.  The end result is that everyone’s sharing out duty, no one’s getting an unpleasantly large amount of time, and the action is kept rolling right along to a fairly explosive ending.

Rambo definitely surprised me by being a whole lot more than it really had any right to be–the worries that this would be Stallone stroking his old man’s ego by telling himself that he still had it were perfectly valid in their own right.  But what we have here is no mere ego trip, but rather a fully realized action flick.

Sure, it’s not without its problems.  Everything goes entirely too smoothly for Rambo and company.  The movie has a tendency to lapse into the preachy.  But as action movies go, Rambo definitely has a lot of explosive power to it, and it’s presented in a reasonably solid package.

Thus, since both franchise and lead have aged well, the Screenhead Ten Scale gives Rambo a seven out of ten for giving us decent if a bit flawed action movie fun.

Tom Cruise-Cameron Diaz starrer Knight and Day is moving up its opening day by two days to June 23,  2010.

That means the movie will launch on a Wednesday instead of Friday of that week because word of mouth from preview screenings has been positive and strong. The studio wants to get a big jump on the weekend to create even more positive word of mouth.

Knight and Day’s switch gives it a full week of play before the release of Twilight Saga: Eclipse, bows June 30, a Wednesday as well.

Meantime, enjoy the music video: Someday – Black Eyed Peas / Knight And Day (The Fan Carpet).

Ah, the sweet sound of wrestlers acting.

Admittedly, the idea worked out pretty well for The Rock, but as for Stone Cold Steve Austin, well, the jury’s a bit out on that one.  But the folks at Anchor Bay are giving our boy Stone Cold another chance–they sent me a copy of The Stranger and now we find out how Austin’s newest foray into acting pans out.

The Stranger follows a man on the run–from both the Russian mob and the FBI.  Who is he?  Where did he come from?  What happened to leave him in this position?  There are a lot of questions in the Stranger’s life, but will there be any answers?  That’s what he’s on the hunt for in this movie.

There are those who compared this to old eighties-era VHS filmmaking, in which athletes like Jeff Speakman turned action star, and they’re not without basis for that comparison.  It really is a lot like one of those, with a lot of action, strange and overly complicated plot twists, and a whole lot of confusion.

Half the time I had precious little idea what was going on.  The other half was a blur of explosions, gunfire and unmerciful beatings.  Admittedly, things do start clearing up a bit the farther in you go, but that just means you’re going to have to spend large portions of the openers in a state of dazed confusion.

It’s kind of like California, but with more smog.

They’ll spend probably a bit too much time dancing around the theme of memory here, especially repressed or hidden memories, and it actually seems a bit out of place given the rest of the movie.  In a way, it works too, but it feels so forced that it’s like they shouldn’t have even bothered.

The worst part about The Stranger is that, despite the fact that it’s clearly an action movie that’s trying its level best to be exciting, it just comes off as dull and, indeed, forced.  It’s trying too hard, really.  I’ve seen more than a few action films in my day, and they’re not supposed to be really deep.  The Stranger, meanwhile, is frantically TRYING to be deep, but it’s just not working out.

Thus, the Screenhead Ten Scale hands The Stranger a four out of ten for trying its hardest, but this turned out to be just a bit too hard.

Predators looks awesome. The movie boasts some fine acting talent with Adrien Brody taking the lead role as Royce. Royce is a mercenary who reluctantly leads a group of elite warriors. Gradually, they realize they are together on an alien planet… as prey.

With the notable exception of a disgraced physician, they are all cold-blooded killers – mercenaries, human “predators” that are now being hunted and eliminated by a new breed of alien Predators.

I like this poster because it shows all the characters in the movie.  I wonder which  of these mercenaries makes it out alive.

The movie opens everywhere July 9, 2010.

Warner Bros. The Losers new poster is explosive and action packed. 

The movie is about elite U.S. Special Forces unit sent into the Bolivian jungle on a search and destroy mission. The team–Clay, Jensen, Roque, Pooch and Cougar –find themselves the target of a lethal betrayal instigated from inside by a powerful enemy known only as Max. 

Presumed dead, the group makes plans to even the score when they’re joined by the mysterious Aisha, a beautiful operative with her own agenda. Working together, they must remain deep undercover while tracking the heavily-guarded Max, a ruthless man bent on embroiling the world in a new high-tech global war.