Today, I begin with an apology, folks.  I really, REALLY, should’ve seen this coming before now.

I should have realized that enterprising entertainer sorts were going to be frantically champing at the bit to make parodies of the biggest low-budget blockbuster of all 2009, Paranormal Activity.  And thus, I present to you Ghost Caught on Tape, a Paranormal Activity parody.

It all begins when a young couple sets up a video camera in their house, but what they capture is going to be a lot more terrifying…ly…funny, I guess that’s the best way to put it, than they’d ever expect.

And stick around after they announce their company logo for some really wildly overblown stuff.  You know that old “I’m not laughing with you, I’m laughing AT you” thing?  Trust me, here, you’ll be laughing AT them.  It’s just ridiculously overdone.  Ludicrous is almost too weak a term.

The Screenhead Ten Scale, therefore, hands this low-budget laughfest a six out of ten for being hilarious but also so ridiculously overdone that many of the laughs are at their own expense rather than from anything resembling skill.

Join us!  Join us as John Newcombe takes us on a tour of the outer regions of our minds into mysterious tales and unexpected horror!

If that all sounds a little breathless to you, it’s really because it should.  This is a kind of strange Twilight Zone / Outer Limits knockoff / parody that will introduce you to exactly what the title says: mysterious tales and unexpected horror.

It may sound a little cheesy to you, and rest assured, it will be.  But Mysterious Tales of Unexpected Horror not only contains plenty of laughs, but one really nifty scary surprise, too.  I won’t spoiler, but man…this one’s a pure doozy.

The Screenhead Ten Scale knows better than to disagree with me lest I feed it to the gremlin that’s on the plane wing right this second.  Don’t believe me?  LOOK FOR YOURSELVES!

And as such, we’re going To Serve Man by handing Mysterious Tales of Unexpected Horror a seven out of ten.

The one thing I really love about short films is their openness.  Anybody can come along and shoot one of these on a shoestring in their backyard.  And today, we’re going to prove that exactly right with Dearest Mrs. Apple.

This is the story of a man, his unusual friendship, and the circumstances that led to its end.  I know, sounds kind of like some cheesy chick flick or something, but I assure you, someone will get eaten by the end of this.

Yeah. EATEN.

Dearest Mrs. Apple is actually pretty funny because of its ludicrous nature and its outlandish concept.  This is almost too stupid to be believed, but it will carry on anyway, despite the fact that it really has no business existing.

The Screenhead Ten Scale loves a quick cheap laugh, and thus hands Dearest Mrs. Apple a six out of ten for bringing the funny in short film.

I’ve heard about this sort of movie before; it was made for the London 48hr Film Festival, and generally, what a “forty eight hour film festival” is is a festival for short films that were shot in forty eight hours.  They’re usually given a topic or specific directions to follow, and the result is shown for the enjoyment of all.

This time, we’re looking at Abducted, and the theme for this one was clearly “duct tape”.  When production of a British horror movie is going clearly south, about the only thing that can save the production is…well…murder.  And when the cast and crew start dying off, the race is on to find out who’s handling the…tape roll…before it’s too late!

There will be some very clever twists here, and overall it’s a solid enough short, but there’s one real problem here, and that’s that it moves entirely too fast.  Sections of important connective dialogue and action are glossed over in an attempt to keep runtime artificially low.  This leaves the final production feeling rushed and cluttered, which is a huge problem as far as I’m concerned.

But overall, this still comes out solidly, and the Screenhead Ten Scale agrees, giving Abducted a solid eight out of ten.  If they’d slowed down a bit and taken their time, the rating likely would have been higher.  But even rushed, this is still good stuff.